Last Updated: 02 June 2024
As my main character, Howie Pond, is such a culinary connoisseur, it seems appropriate to start with food. And be prepared... your stomach will be rumbling by the time you’ve read this.
Cheese is one of my great loves. It’s always there when I need it – in the fridge, usually. One of my favourite meals is a Czech speciality called smažený sýr. It sounds exotic... but it’s not. It’s a block of cheese – Edam being the most popular – fried in breadcrumbs and served with tartar sauce or mayonnaise. It’s best eaten with fries and washed down with half a litre of black beer – another of my great loves (it’s a little like Guinness but sweeter, and not so thick and creamy).
I’m also a big fan of Polish pierogi. They are often described as dumplings but they are more like giant ravioli. They are best served lightly fried. They actually taste a little like pancakes, if you allow them to burn a little. Traditional fillings are cheese & potato and mushrooms and cabbage. You can eat them with salad, yoghurt and/or mayonnaise. Yummy! (Or ‘Mniam mniam!’, as they say in Poland.)
Chocolate-covered plums are another Eastern European delicacy that I can recommend. Everyone who tries them absolutely loves them. I have an emergency bowl of chocolate on my desk at home and I can see one right now. And, in fact, I’ve just eaten it. Sorry. Couldn’t resist.
In terms of non-edible things, I love my cat, Lulu, who stops me from spending too much time at the computer by demanding attention, food or playtime. She’s actually very good at hide-and-seek and enjoys being found and then chased around the flat. It’s good exercise for me, as well.
Finally, after twenty years of commuting into London and working for other people, I love being an indie author who works for himself – it’s very much like running a small business. And I love not switching on a computer and being bombarded with emails.
Five-star reviews on Amazon are also quite nice, obviously. If you’ve read any of my books, feel free to give me one. Thank you.
London, 2045. Three months into the Coffee Wars and Britain’s caffeine supplies are at critical levels. Brits are drinking even more tea than usual, keeping a stiff upper lip and praying for an end to it all.
A secret government coffee stockpile promises to save the day... but then mysteriously disappears overnight.
One man is asked to unravel the missing coffee mystery. His name is Pond. Howie Pond. And he’s in desperate need of a triple espresso. Meanwhile, his journalist wife, Britt, is hunting royal fugitive, Emma Windsor, on the streets of the capital.
Can Howie save the British Republic from caffeine-starved chaos? Will the runaway royal be found? And just what will desperate coffee drinkers do for their caffeine fix? Find out, in Paul Mathews' latest comedy-adventure set in the Britain of the future...
I’m also a big fan of Polish pierogi. They are often described as dumplings but they are more like giant ravioli. They are best served lightly fried. They actually taste a little like pancakes, if you allow them to burn a little. Traditional fillings are cheese & potato and mushrooms and cabbage. You can eat them with salad, yoghurt and/or mayonnaise. Yummy! (Or ‘Mniam mniam!’, as they say in Poland.)
Chocolate-covered plums are another Eastern European delicacy that I can recommend. Everyone who tries them absolutely loves them. I have an emergency bowl of chocolate on my desk at home and I can see one right now. And, in fact, I’ve just eaten it. Sorry. Couldn’t resist.
In terms of non-edible things, I love my cat, Lulu, who stops me from spending too much time at the computer by demanding attention, food or playtime. She’s actually very good at hide-and-seek and enjoys being found and then chased around the flat. It’s good exercise for me, as well.
Finally, after twenty years of commuting into London and working for other people, I love being an indie author who works for himself – it’s very much like running a small business. And I love not switching on a computer and being bombarded with emails.
Five-star reviews on Amazon are also quite nice, obviously. If you’ve read any of my books, feel free to give me one. Thank you.
About We Have Lost The Coffee
London, 2045. Three months into the Coffee Wars and Britain’s caffeine supplies are at critical levels. Brits are drinking even more tea than usual, keeping a stiff upper lip and praying for an end to it all.
A secret government coffee stockpile promises to save the day... but then mysteriously disappears overnight.
One man is asked to unravel the missing coffee mystery. His name is Pond. Howie Pond. And he’s in desperate need of a triple espresso. Meanwhile, his journalist wife, Britt, is hunting royal fugitive, Emma Windsor, on the streets of the capital.
Can Howie save the British Republic from caffeine-starved chaos? Will the runaway royal be found? And just what will desperate coffee drinkers do for their caffeine fix? Find out, in Paul Mathews' latest comedy-adventure set in the Britain of the future...
We Have Lost The Coffee is available to buy now (paid link; commission earned).
Paul Mathews is a 40-something British guy who's given up his 9-to-5 job in London to become a full-time comedy novelist. His two decades working as a Government press officer gave him an invaluable insight into all the key elements of modern government: bureaucracy, bungling, buffoonery, buck-passing and other things that don't begin with the letter 'B' - such as politicians with huge egos and very little talent. He's now putting that knowledge to use by writing about a British Government of the future - where, believe it or not, the politicians are even bigger idiots than the current lot.
Before becoming a PR guy, he was an accountant. But he doesn't like to talk about that. And going back further, he went to Cambridge University and studied philosophy. Despite thousands of hours of thoughtful contemplation, he still hasn't worked out how that happened. The highlight of his university years was receiving a £300 travel grant to visit Prague and 'study philosophy'. It was a trip that ignited his love of Eastern Europe where he spends a lot of time writing and drinking black beer.
About Paul Mathews
Paul Mathews is a 40-something British guy who's given up his 9-to-5 job in London to become a full-time comedy novelist. His two decades working as a Government press officer gave him an invaluable insight into all the key elements of modern government: bureaucracy, bungling, buffoonery, buck-passing and other things that don't begin with the letter 'B' - such as politicians with huge egos and very little talent. He's now putting that knowledge to use by writing about a British Government of the future - where, believe it or not, the politicians are even bigger idiots than the current lot.
Before becoming a PR guy, he was an accountant. But he doesn't like to talk about that. And going back further, he went to Cambridge University and studied philosophy. Despite thousands of hours of thoughtful contemplation, he still hasn't worked out how that happened. The highlight of his university years was receiving a £300 travel grant to visit Prague and 'study philosophy'. It was a trip that ignited his love of Eastern Europe where he spends a lot of time writing and drinking black beer.
Other interests include wearing sunglasses and having his photograph taken.
Why not share a few of your favourite things with me in the comments below?
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